Five Times Blair Waldorf Got in a Fight
by blueberrypie87
Summary: Five times Blair's anger got the best of her. 5 drabbles ranging from pre-series to beyond. Hints of B/C.
1. Chapter 1

Five Times Blair Waldorf Got in a Fight

1.

"So today we're going to learn about jobs," Mrs. Adamson said enthusiastically. She turned to the chalkboard and began writing.

Five year old Blair Waldorf watched intently, taking in the teacher's every sentence. She loved learning, unlike her grimy and idiotic classmates. Today she was especially happy because her mother had enough time to curl her hair. Blair's brunette tresses dangled around her face. As she picked up a pencil to write down something Mrs. Adamson said, she felt a strong tug on the back of her hair. She turned around abruptly.

A dark haired boy sat behind her drumming his fingers innocently on the desk.

"Chuck, don't touch my hair," she ran her hand through her hair, fixing what he messed up.

"I didn't. It must have been Walter over here." He pointed to the half asleep kid next to him. Blair narrowed her eyes at Chuck, who stared back at her with no guilt whatsoever.

"Don't do it again," she threatened. He smirked at her.

"Alright, I think we've gone over all of the jobs. We're going to have snack time now!" The children dispersed and retrieved their snacks. Groups started forming throughout the classroom.

Serena, Chuck, Nate, and Blair always had snack time together in the corner of the classroom. They sat in a circle while sharing their snacks and talking.

"My mom has a new boyfriend." Serena whined, eating her crackers that she was sharing with Nate.

"What happened to Jorgen?" Blair asked.

"She dumped him."

"If only your mom could find a nice guy, but I guess not everyone can be as great as my daddy."

"My mom doesn't go for nice guys. She likes boring guys."

"Typical Lily." Chuck responded, snatching one of Blair's celery sticks.

"Hey! Try _asking_ before you take my food."

"It's only a celery stick, you have like 5 more." He argued. Serena made a face at Nate. They fought too much.

"Well I wanted that one!"

"Too bad." He ate the celery stick and pulled the back of her hair.

"I told you to stop doing that!" She screeched.

"Oh get over it! You're such a crybaby." He teased. Blair huffed and stomped away. Nate and Serena gave him a look.

"What did I do?"

* * *

It was recess time. Nate and Serena were in the sandbox making castles while Blair sat in a chair by them. She didn't want to get her new dress dirty. Chuck was throwing a dodgeball against the wall of the school repeatedly. He took the ball and threw it really hard, barely missing Blair's head.

"Watch where you throw that thing!" She snapped.

"What? Are you afraid it'll mess up your hair?" Chuck ran to go get the ball, which landed right behind Blair. As he passed her he tugged on a few strands of her hair. Her brown eyes widened as far as they could go.

"I swear if you pull my hair one more time I'll-"

"Do what?" He interrupted. "_Tell_ on me?" Chuck grabbed at her hair again and pulled. She tackled him into the sandbox, destroying Nate and Serena's sandcastles.

"You are an imbecile!" She kept slapping at him as they rolled over and over in the sand.

"I bet you don't even know what that means!" He wasn't fighting back but he was trying to grab her hands in an attempt to stop her. He had to admit, this was very entertaining.

"Come on you guys, knock it off." Nate yelled. Serena tried to pull Blair off but she had her feet dug in the sand so she wouldn't move.

"Alright you two, stop the fighting!" Mrs. Adamson ordered as she ran to the scene. They both looked up at her.

"Come inside, I'm calling your parents." Blair and Chuck got up guiltily and walked inside.

* * *

"What happened?" Mrs. Adamson had them both seated in the classroom. They had sand everywhere. She hadn't called their parents yet, but after found out what happened, she would.

"He kept pulling my hair and taking my celery stick and getting on my nerves!" Blair explained in one breath.

"Charles is this true?"

"No." He mumbled.

_"Charles."_

"Maybe a little."

The teacher sighed. "You too have a different problem everyday. I think I'll just have to tell your parents that-"

"NO!" They both yelled.

"My parents can't find out about this. Please don't call! I won't talk to him ever again, I promise!" Blair stood up and begged, sand flying from her hair in every direction.

"My father would be so mad if he found out I got in trouble again. Please I'll do anything!"

Mrs. Adamson smiled. "Will you promise me you two will try to get along?"

They both looked down and then glanced at each other.

"I guess I could try," Blair replied grouchily.

"Yeah," Chuck agreed.

"Good. Now go clean yourselves up. Recess will be over in a few minutes." She went back outside to tend to the other children.

"I still hate you Bass." She said, flicking her hair and walking to the bathroom.

"And I'll never stop hating you Waldorf." He walked to the bathroom on the other side of the hall.

"Fine."

"Fine!"

They both slammed the bathroom doors.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello. Sorry it took so long for an update. Between school and other stuff, I didn't have time to type up the chapter and edit it, but it's here now! Admittedly, I was a little afraid of posting this chapter. One of my ideas for a fight was between Blair and a maid, but I never thought it would get this weird. Anyway, reviews are lovely and appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. (I keep forgetting these)**

* * *

The Waldorf penthouse was full of secrets, which wasn't very surprising because the Waldorfs were very secretive people. Dorota wasn't Blair's first maid. A small group of people knew this because no one talked about it. There had been an…incident back when Blair was ten, and back when Harold and Eleanor hired Helga.

* * *

"So, we're getting a new maid?" Blair asked her parents as she sat at the dining room table. She was donning a pink ribbon in her hair and wearing her Constance uniform, as she had just returned from school. Every day when she returned home, she would sit down with her father and tell him all about her day. It was one of their numerous traditions and Blair cherished it.

Harold Waldorf nodded. "Your mother and I decided that since you're getting older, you should have a maid all for yourself to help with the little things." He sensed the excitement in her eyes.

"You mean I can tell her what to do?" She asked, clearly elated. Blair loved minions. Her mother made a face, knowing what ideas might be swirling around in her daughter's mind.

"Now you have to be nice to her Blair. Don't treat her like a dog," Eleanor cautioned while she sketched out designs in a notebook. After scrapbooking, designing had become her new hobby.

"I won't Mother." Blair promised, capturing the essence of innocence for a moment.

_Ding!_

Someone was coming up on the elevator.

"That must be her!" Harold got up and walked out of the dining room. Blair tiptoed after him, peeking around the wall to see him greet the new maid.

"Helga, it's wonderful to see you again." She heard her father charm "Helga" and thought to herself of how atrocious the name sounded.

"Mr. Waldorf, always a pleasure. Your home is even more beautiful than before!" The woman had an accent. Was she Swedish? Norwegian? Or maybe…

"Blair! Eleanor! There's someone I want you to meet!"

"Damn Harold." Her mother mumbled, getting up and pushing Blair into the foyer. They turned on their "guest faces" simultaneously to meet Helga that almost looked sincere. Almost.

"Mrs. Waldorf! I missed your smiling face!" Helga gave her a tight hug and Eleanor went stiff in her arms. She caught sight of Blair who immediately caught her attention.

"And you must be Blair." Helga looked down at Blair and just stared, mouth wide open in a creepy expression. She took in her appearance.

Helga was dressed in a red and white dress. She wasn't very large, but she was tall and her blonde hair was wrapped in two tight buns on either side of her head. Helga was also wearing rainbow colored flats that had hues on them Blair had never seen before. She wore weirder shoes than Chuck, if that was even possible. She thought she looked like a yodeler, not that she had ever seen one of those.

_Please don't hug me. Please don't hug me._

"Come here, you!" Helga gave Blair a giant bear hug, squeezing her tightly. "We are going to have so much fun!"

"I should show you to your room first." Harold interrupted and pointed to the stairs.

"Of course! She trounced upstairs behind Harold.

"I don't like her."

"Did you see her shoes?" Her mother looked appalled.

"She _hugs_." Blair felt disgusting.

"They were velvet too. Velvet rainbow shoes." Eleanor whispered.

A boisterous voice rang from above. "The room has a window! How lovely Mr. Waldorf! Helloooooo world! It's me Helga!"

"He has lost his mind!" The Waldorf women declared in dramatic flare.

* * *

"Rise and shine Blair! It's a brand new day!" A shrill sound woke Blair up. She removed her face mask to reveal Helga smiling down at her.

"What are you doing?!" She yelled.

"Waking you up! It's a lovely Sunday!"

"I sleep in on Sundays," Blair said with an annoyed tone. Helga gasped.

"No! You must have breakfast with your family!" She yanked Blair out of bed. "Come along! We must go!" Blair ran ahead of her trying to get away. After getting to the bottom of the stairs, she overheard voices in the dining room.

"Now Eleanor, I know she's eccentric but I think you're being a little overdramatic."

"Eccentric? Harold, she's mentally unstable! I don't know about Blair, but I can't deal with that everyday!"

"Shh, someone's coming."

"DADDY!" Blair ran to her father. "Save me!"

"It seems like you were more excited about breakfast than I was!" Helga panted as she entered the kitchen.

"Helga! Good morning." Harold smiled at the maid.

"Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Waldorf." Helga returned the greeting. Eleanor got up, taking this as an opportunity to leave.

"I have to be going now. Laurel gave me a call from the office to check samples." She said, preparing to exit.

"No Mrs. Waldorf! You must stay. I had the cooks whip up a grand breakfast for you all!"

"But I have to-", Helga blocked Eleanor from passing around her.

"Stay. The office will be there all day." She said through her smile, towering over the shorter woman in stature. "The sooner you have breakfast, the sooner you can leave, eh?" Eleanor looked at her husband in desperation, who just shrugged in response.

"I guess so." She said, defeated, and sat down next to Harold. Eleanor wasn't used to not getting her way, and Blair couldn't deny that she was slightly amused by Helga's victory.

* * *

"After dinner, Harold and Eleanor predictably disappeared, leaving Blair alone with Helga.

"Guess what we're going to do now!" Helga demanded with vigor as she and Blair finished breakfast.

"Well," Blair wiped her mouth with a napkin, "_I'm_ going to spend time with my friends today. _You_ will stay here, in your room, and do whatever you please."

"But no one is here." As Helga announced this, Blair swore she heard an echo. Everyone was gone, the cooks, maids, and everyone else who was normally here during the day.

"I wonder why," Blair breathed under her breath sarcastically. "I'll be back this afternoon." She left the table, adjusting her navy blue headband.

"Okay then, I'll be waiting!" Helga sang.

* * *

"She's awful! She sings out of tune, hugs people, and wakes me up at the crack of dawn!" Blair, Nate, Chuck, and Serena were at Central Park. The boys were playing catch with a football while Serena and Blair were having a picnic.

"She doesn't sound that bad." Nate said to his girlfriend.

"But she wears multicolored shoes! And they're velvet!"

"Sounds like my kind of woman." A lecherous voice interrupted as the football was tossed at her feet.

"Could you be any more crude?" Blair turned to Chuck who was wearing a seemingly permanent smirk and hurled the football back at him.

"She sounds nice B. Maybe you should give her a chance." Serena reasoned. "Although the velvet shoes sound a little hideous."

"No, I can't go back there. Please let your mom adopt me!" She begged, grabbing Serena's shoulders and shaking her.

"Don't you think you're going a little overboard?" The blonde laughed. Blair frowned. Why did Serena always have to be the level headed one?

"You should've seen my mother's face this morning. She thinks Helga belongs in a clinic!"

"My parents are going to put me in a clinic if I don't get home." Nate said, looking at his watch. Blair glanced over at him forlornly. She hadn't been spending much time with him lately and was hoping they could go somewhere after the picnic.

"Crap!" Serena interrupted her thoughts. "My mom's waiting for me at home too."

"Oh hey, I can give you a ride there if you want." Nate said. The blonde smiled appreciatively and jumped up.

"That'd be great Natie. Thanks!"

Nate walked over to Blair, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Bye Blair. I'll call you later."

"See ya B!" Serena shouted as she ran off, with Nate racing off after her. Blair sighed loudly, watching them go.

"I'm going home." Blair said to no one in particular. She did that a lot. The brunette got up from the grass and bundled up her picnic belongings after dusting off her skirt. She headed off in the same direction as her friends had gone but stopped when she heard echoing footsteps.

"Where do you think you're going?" She turned around to see Chuck's smirking face.

"I want to meet this Helga woman. Maybe I can get her number." He was a little too enthusiastic.

"You're disgusting."

"So can I come?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Hello?" Blair called as she and Chuck entered the penthouse. "Anyone here?"

"Maybe she killed everyone and put their bodies in the freezer." Chuck said with a stoic face. Blair smacked him.

"How could you say that?!"

"Blair is that you?" Helga's voice rang out from upstairs and in a flash, she was in front of them.

"Who is this?" The blonde maid asked.

"This is-." Blair started.

"I'm Chuck." He stepped in front of Blair and introduced himself, holding out a hand for Helga to shake.

"Is this your boyfriend Blair?" She bounced with surprise. Blair's eyes widened in shock.

"No! Of course not! Chuck is a friend who will be leaving _very_ soon." She shot him a glare.

"Well any friend of Blair's is a friend of mine!" She noticed his hand. "Oh no! I don't shake hands." Chuck looked confused while Blair smiled dubiously. "Give me a hug darling!" He took a step back, trying to escape, but Helga caught him, squeezing Chuck so tight that Blair saw him gasping for air. She snickered at him as he struggled against Helga.

"So handsome!" She finally let him go. "Well, I am glad he's here. I made you a present Blair! It's in your room!" Helga started up the stairs as the two young brunettes curiously followed.

* * *

As they got closer to Blair's room, Helga got more excited.

"Now Chuck, you must cover her eyes until I say so!"

"If you insist," Chuck obliged to her request, shielding Blair's concerned eyes. She felt completely out of control and didn't know what was waiting for her in her room.

"Okay!" Helga opened the door. "Now!" She yelled at Chuck, who quickly removed his hands.

Blair's scream could be heard through all of Manhattan.

"I saw all of your headbands in your drawer so I thought I'd make a mural! Isn't it beautiful?" More than half of Blair's signature collection of headbands had been cut up and glued to a backboard that was leaning against her bed.

"YOU FREAK!" Blair's face was puffing up.

"Do you like it?" Helga asked. Blair stared at her with wide eyes and, in an act of fury, jumped on her back and started pounding on her blonde hair buns.

"You ruined my headbands!" She screamed, putting her hands around Helga's neck and squeezing as hard as her small hands could. It wasn't very effective, but Blair didn't care at this point. Helga waved her hands, trying to get Blair off.

"What's wrong Blair? You don't like your present?" Helga asked, her voice shaking because the girl on her back was shaking her head furiously.

"Chuck!" Blair turned to the only spectator, who was laughing at the scene before him. "Don't just stand there, kick her! Do something! I want her dead!"

"She didn't ruin _my_ headbands. Sorry Waldorf, you're on your own." Suddenly, Blair's door reopened and her parents came in.

"Oh my God!" Eleanor shrieked. Harold ran over to Helga and her attacker.

"Blair get off her right now!"

"No! You brought her in this house and I'm taking her out!" Blair had a deranged look on her face as she faced her father.

"So," Chuck turned to Eleanor, "does Helga have a twin?" Her face blanched.

* * *

Two security guards later, Helga had been removed and fired, Chuck was sent home after being sworn to secrecy, and Blair sat in the foyer with her parents.

"What a mess." Eleanor ran her fingers through her hair.

"I can't believe you attacked Helga, Blair Bear." Harold sighed.

"She ruined my headband collection." Blair said hysterically, trying not to get blamed.

"I'm not so sure Blair's at fault for this Harold. The woman was an absolute lunatic." Eleanor reasoned. The daughter looked up at them sadly.

"Fine. We'll replace the headbands and I'll screen the potential maids with you before I pick one. Deal?"

"Deal." Blair smiled, wiping invisible tears. Victory was hers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello. It's been a while. I'm sooo sorry for not updating it. I had a research paper due this month and I was stressing to get it done. But I finished it! And got a 100%. Anyways, I hope to have this done soon. In case I don't get this up by the 14th, have a wonderful Valentine's Day, single or not!**

**This one has no Chuck, sadly. I missed him too.**

* * *

"So who's this Gossip Girl that everyone's talking about?" Kati asked, putting on mascara in front of Blair's mirror.

"Some slut spreading rumors about everyone on her website. I think she's someone at Constance." Blair was in the bathroom, fixing Serena's unruly hair.

It was Blair's third annual sleepover and all of the girls were about to go out and wreak havoc like they do every year. Now that Blair was thirteen, Dorota didn't have to tag along like she always did. She'd planned out the night's festivities and was ready to get out there.

"So where are we going?" Hazel asked.

"You girls should know the rules by now. Wherever I want. So everyone, stop putting on your faces and kindly follow me out the door." Blair finished Serena's hair and came out of the bathroom, leading her guests to the exit.

* * *

"Everybody ready to shop at Bendel's?" Blair asked, trying to raise the morale of the group. The girls were standing outside of the Waldorf penthouse. The Upper East Side air was warm on the summer evening but the wind was moving slightly.

"I could use a new dress for my mom's charity dinner next week." Isabel considered. Kati nodded in agreement.

"Or we could go to the new restaurant downtown!" Serena spoke up. The girls' ears perked up from Serena's suggestion.

"I've been dying to go!" Rain Hoffsetter said. "I hear they've got amazing cocktails."

"But Bendel's is having their fall preview showing!" Blair said, hoping that at least one of the girls would stick with her plan.

"Blair, we can go there afterwards. Bendel's can wait." Kati said. The brunette shot her a look. _Traitor._

"_No_ it can't." She said with more force than she would have liked. Serena was not going to get her way this time.

"All in favor of going to Bendel's now?" Penelope announced. Only Blair's hand went up.

"Majority rules B. Sorry. Downtown we go." Blair huffed. Penelope didn't sound very sorry. All of the girls piled in the limo.

"Sorry Blair. We'll go there next I promise." Serena whispered, getting inside. Blair gave her a hard look and fixed her hair.

"Whatever."

* * *

Blair tried to enjoy dinner, even though all she got was a plain, naked salad with water. On the other side of the table, Serena was trying almost everything on the menu. The girls fluttered around her, hung up on every word she said.

"You should've been there when Erik and I were in Spain. Javier was the hottest waiter I've ever seen in my life! We salsa danced all night on the floor. I had so much fun!" Serena paused her story to pop a white chocolate truffle in her mouth. "Oh my God, these truffles are amazing. B, you have to try one!" Serena said. Blair turned up her nose, counting calories in her head.

"Absolutely not." She glanced at her cell phone, getting antsy. "It's past seven, can we go now?"

"Okay." Serena said as the girls groaned. "No, Blair's right. We have to get going. You wouldn't want to miss the fall preview right?" They all reluctantly agreed.

"Finally." Blair mumbled, stabbing a cucumber.

* * *

"It's freezing out here." Isabel rubbed her bare arms. None of them had thought to bring jackets.

"I shouldn't have sent the limo back." Serena frowned while trying to fix her hair that was currently waving in the wind.

"Yeah you shouldn't have." Blair reprimanded. She hated being downtown. It was a place designed only for commoners and partygoers.

"Look, the Uptown Lounge!" Kati yelled.

"We should go! It's Friday so they should be packed!" Isabel smiled at Kati.

"And the best DJ in town is there tonight!" Kati said excitedly.

Blair scowled. Seriously, how did her friends know so much about social events all of a sudden?

"Gossip Girl reviewed the place on her site and said it was fabulous on Fridays." Kati and Isabel told everyone, at the same time.

Oh. That's how.

"We can't get in. It's a 21 and over club, and we don't exactly look 21. " Blair was not going to the Uptown Lounge. If they went in there, the girls would never leave. Especially her party-loving blonde best friend. She looked around and noticed that everyone was getting excited by the idea. Oh no. Not a good sign.

"My father sponsors this club, and all bouncers don't mind a little monetary encouragement." Penelope flashed a $100 bill.

"Serena, you in?" Hazel asked. Serena hesitantly looked at Blair, noticing how upset she looked.

"I don't know, I think we should keep going to Bendel's." Blair gave Serena a small smile. If Serena said no to them, they'd have to follow her.

"You know you want to." Rain said enticingly, pushing all the right buttons in the blonde. Serena glanced at the club, noticeably entranced like a puppy by a ball.

"It does look…very fun," she said. Blair rolled her eyes. Give Serena any excuse to party and she'd take it. "Maybe for a minute? We'll go in and come out." She turned to Blair, her eyes pleading.

"Okay, but only for a few minutes!" The girls ran ahead. "You all heard me right? A few minutes! Hey, wait for me!" Blair speedwalked to catch up with them in her new heels. A lady never runs.

* * *

"Wooo! I love this song!" Serena got up from the bar and waved her hands, swaying to the up tempo beat. The rest of the girls followed suit, joining Serena on the dance floor, leaving Blair behind. A few minutes had become a few hours and it was almost ten. Penelope, Hazel, Rain, Kati, Isabel, and Serena wasted no time getting smashed. Serena was the life of the party when she was drunk and filled the room with her energy. Blair pulled out her phone and called a limo to pick them up in fifteen minutes. She'd have to round everyone up and get them out of here.

"Party's over you guys. It's time to go back to my house!" Blair shouted.

"But the DJ's about to change his set! One more song B!" Serena slurred.

"If you don't want to walk fifteen blocks back to my house, I suggest you come with me." Blair argued. The girls were defeated and for the first time, Blair got what she wanted tonight.

* * *

The ride home was horrible. Getting all of the girls into Blair's room was torture. Luckily, as soon as they all got back, they were tired and fell asleep.

Blair went downstairs to get something to drink for herself and was surprised to see Serena popping grapes into her mouth while dancing around the kitchen, humming a nonsensical song.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm having a midnight snack. These grapes are yummy." Serena stumbled over to Blair and gave her a hug.

"You always have the best sleepovers B! I had so much fun!" Blair struggled holding Serena up and in a moment of desperation, pushed her away.

"You should've had fun, considering you ruined everything." Serena looked confused. "You ruined my plans and got everyone to go along with what you wanted. This was supposed to be my party and you trashed it."

"Blair, everyone loved the restaurant and Uptown Lounge. It's not my fault I know how to have fun." The blonde shrugged her shoulders and ate another grape.

"No! This is all your fault!" Blair felt a little braver yelling at her when she was drunk. She shoved Serena, making her hit the counter.

"Hey don't push me!" Serena pushed her back, and soon the two were in a pushing war. Eventually Blair pushed a little too hard and they both toppled to the floor.

"Drunk whore!" Blair pulled Serena's hair.

"Uptight bitch!" Serena threw a handful of grapes at Blair's face. Their shrieks traveled up the stairs to Blair's room and soon all of the girls were downstairs trying to pull Serena and Blair away from each other. Well, everyone except Penelope, who was smart enough to bring her phone and snap a picture of the girls fighting.

* * *

The next morning Dorota came down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the girls. What she found was all of them asleep on the floor with dozens of smashed grapes everywhere.

She left to go get some towels to clean everything up when Penelope's phone went off.

_Spotted: B and S battling it out on the kitchen floor throwing insults and…grapes? Looks like the only fall preview going on around here is a fall__**out**__. Are B and S best friends for never? I'll be watching._

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo Gossip Girl_


End file.
